Hey all, long time no see. It’s been about a year since I last posted on this blog, hasn’t it? As always, 2025 has been quite the journey for me, but it’s finally been a year that I can look back and truly be thankful for. The biggest thing is that this is the year where I’ve finally come to understand– well, maybe not understand everything, but get to the root of why I am the way I am. And I mean that holistically. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

Not to get too heavy or delve too deep into this topic, but I do want to talk about it a bit- in my attempt to let it be known to those who might not realize otherwise. Basically, I’ve always lived my life the way I’ve known it, without really understanding or being consciously aware that many of the ways I approach the world are in fact behaviors or brain wirings that developed as a result of complex trauma from a seemingly normal childhood. Most of the things I thought were normal or didn’t even realize was a problem, such as constant anxiety, emotional dysregulation, relationship difficulties, toxic shame, feeling different from others, etc, were in fact, a result of being unable to feel like I could be myself or be accepted when I was younger. It’s something that’s difficult to realize- most who knew me would think I was regulated, capable, and mature. From my own perspective, I just thought that “this is just how life is.” Well, needless to say, those things are a problem and touch upon so many aspects of my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Since I’ve come to understand these things, I just wonder- just how common is it for people who have gone through similar experiences go about their lives without ever knowing? It leads me to believe that complex trauma (CPTSD) might be one of the most underdiagnosed conditions of modern society, given how common it is to see similar symptoms in others and the irresponsibility of many parents. Part of why I’m explaining is that simple feeling of wanting to let myself be known, but it’s also in hopes that there might be someone out there that this helps. If you ever struggle with similar feelings and are not sure of their source, it doesn’t mean you’re fundamentally broken. It’s a culmination of behaviors and adaptations your brain developed to help you survive an emotionally distressing period.

The light at the end of this tunnel is that, in the aftermath of realizing all this, I’ve been able to start truly understanding myself. And consequently, been able to heal, become more whole, and approach life with a level of self-actualization that I’d always tried to strive for. I’ve been able to handle dysregulating situations in ways I can feel good about, the past finally makes sense, I’ve finally started to find the relationships that make me happy. Like always, I’ve still got a ways to go, but the fog that’s clouded the journey I’ve been walking for a few years now has finally started to dissipate. And that’s something I can only be thankful for.

But enough of all that, I’m here to talk about stories and art from 2025! In my attempt to make significant lifestyle changes that I’d always felt like I needed to make but put off for one reason or another, I’ve finally returned to doing things that bring me happiness. It’s a crazy concept, I know, but I’d been burnt out early in 2025 and caught up in things that I’ve been latching onto for a while now, which gave me no room to do many of the things that I truly wanted to do. Starting in October, I’ve finally started making changes, and my life has been much happier because of it. The change that pertains to this post is that I finally have returned to playing single player games. Some of my favorite media/art experiences ever has been through the video game medium, and it brings me a lot of fulfillment to be immersing myself into these worlds again. I won’t cover every single media experience of 2025, but just the ones that I want to write about (as always). I’ve yapped for long enough now, let’s get into it.

As unwise as it might be to start off the post with this, we have the recent remake of the first chapter of what’s definitively my favorite piece of art across every single medium ever, Trails in the Sky 1st Chapter. I’m not employing any hyperbole here, only my own truth- ever since I first experienced Trails in the Sky back in 2017, it quickly became the single greatest piece of fiction I’ve ever experienced. There isn’t any other story out there that encapsulates why I love stories, characters, and art better than Trails. It represents much of what I believe in, wish to convey, and hope to embody through my own self-expression. It’s the single greatest affirmation of what it means to simply and utterly be ourselves- human, flawed, beautiful, illogical and all.

As grand as all that sounds, Trails isn’t actually anything like the first coming of some video game revolution or world changing phenomenon. In fact, it’s fairly grounded and operates at a lower stake story-wise than many other JRPG’s about saving the world or even universe. Trails in the Sky, at its heart, is a story about people- the ways in which we lift each other up, break ourselves down, navigate through the frictions of the world, and all the ways in which we do our best to live an existence that can be both tragic and beautiful.

Given such an incredible triumph that the original Trails in the Sky was, I was unsure at first if the remake could do the original justice. Thankfully, my fears were assuaged in a matter of minutes as it became clear that this remake was a true labor of love- a testament to the power of stories and video games as a form of art. From its gorgeous recreations of Liberl’s design, to its dynamic camerawork and subtle character animations, it almost seems like Falcom did everything in its power to make Trails in the Sky 1st Chapter a triumphant remake. Its revamped battle system is the best out of every Trails game I’ve played thus far, the graphics are by far the best looking, and there are so many small details that are sprinkled throughout the game that most game companies would’ve elected to ignore, but were implemented out of a true love for the work.

Needless to say, Trails in the Sky 1st Chapter was once again one of the greatest video game experiences for me. It was a return home from a long journey- the warmth of a town after years of discovery and hardship. As I’ve grown older and wiser since the last time I’d visited the humble town of Rolent, I can only sit in awe and wonder that I’ve returned to an even warmer place than I’d remembered.

Continuing my journey through Zemuria, I found myself coming back to and finishing all of Trails into Reverie, the most recent entry in the Trails series that I’d left off on. Although I consider Sky to be the series at its absolute best, I have somewhat mixed impressions about some of the more recent entries, particularly with how Cold Steel handled much of its writing. There are some aspects that I’m just not the biggest fan of, such as the decision to try and make Cold Steel more dating-sim-esque and how they portray much of its characters throughout the story. But, despite whatever issues I’ve had with the more recent games, they’re Trails games at heart, which means they carry with them the same sensibilities that make up the heart of early Trails.

Reverie is no exception to this, as it was characterized by many moments of genuine warmth and human truth that was all in service to what’s possibly the most satisfying gameplay experience in the entire series so far. I did say that the Sky remake had the best combat system in the series, and while that’s true, I think Reverie offered so much payoff in its content that I found myself getting almost addicted to farming and building my characters as strong as possible. It’s one thing to have a slew of enemies, bosses, equipment, and quartz to gather, but as it’s basically the capstone to the previous 9 games before it, the sheer amount of characters results in what’s basically a Trails combat sandbox with the ability to play with whoever the heck you want.

The story of Reverie itself wasn’t perfect, but it made for a satisfying conclusion to both the Crossbell and Cold Steel games. All of its new characters were charming in their own right, and bringing back all of my old favorites is basically a recipe for success whichever way they cut it. I’ve grown increasingly fond of certain characters as I’ve grown older- Rean in particular being what’s probably my biggest shift in opinion. He’s still the victim of Falcom’s main character syndrome shenanigans but it’s hard to deny, after the emotional growth I’ve been through, the care and patience that goes into his writing as a character. He sees people for who they are, awkward and quiet as they or he can be, he gives people space, he treats others as people genuinely worth understanding, and he listens and accepts with a kindness not unlike that of Estelle- except with quiet, tempered patience rather than as a shining sun.

This all manifests in its purest way through Rean’s relationship with Altina. I know many who, if they were put in the shoes of someone who had to interact with someone of similar demeanor, would treat her as someone who’s emotionless, well behaved, and someone to be tolerated. Altina’s story throughout Cold Steel rings true to me as someone who’d been primed at an early age to suppress my emotions and true self without even knowing it. Altina isn’t someone to be “fixed” or tolerated- at heart she’d always been a person with genuine emotions that just needed someone to walk with her. Someone to listen and accept her as she explored the world and ultimately herself. Someone like Rean. There’s incredible emotional truth in how Altina navigates the world early on in Cold Steel 3; all the confusion, uncertainty, and frustration that comes with understanding one’s own suppressed emotions. Through all that, Rean was the guiding figure who showed her the kindness to explore who she was- rather than suppress or overwrite it.

Even though I wrote all that in the writeup for a game that Rean isn’t the only main character of, I wanted to highlight what’s quickly become the crux of emotional depth throughout Erebonia’s long and journeyed story. As the arc came to an end, I felt a sense of melancholy but also gratitude for what it brought. And with it, a hope that our paths will one day cross again. Thankfully, there’s still multiple games to go before the Trails series ends, so, onward to Calvard!

With my return to video games, I’ve been making an attempt to branch out from my usual comfort zone of anime-adjacent game media (JRPG’s and Visual Novels). This led me to a video game that has interested me for quite some time but I only just recently got around to playing, Outer Wilds. If there’s any game out there that can serve as the shining hope for video games as a medium in a landscape of mass produced, superficial lookalikes that only serve to fill corporates pockets, it’s this game. It’s core conceit is quite simple- you’re a fledgling space pilot taking off on your first voyage to explore a solar system once inhabited by a mysterious ancient civilization. If it were only that, it’d be a completely serviceable open-world mystery game about exploration and puzzle solving that many would be willing to spare a second or even third glance.

But it’s much, much more than that. It’s an incredible work of art- a monumental feat of atmosphere, world building, and emotion. It’s both a genuinely lonely, but warming, beautiful experience. It’s (quite literally at times) that warm campfire that you tend to while you sit and warm your hands, a tiny existence under the vast sea of stars, surrounded by the wreckage of an ancient civilization where life once thrived. In the presence of such a vast, cold and dying solar system, that yearning solitude by the campfire is what drives us to search- whether it be through the signalscope or flying through the cosmos in what quickly becomes a familiar home in our ship. That search takes us through the remains of those who once lived, treacherous environments, breathtaking landscapes… all in search of answers and those moments that bring us hope. It’s in these moments, those in which we are finally able to connect and understand a writing from a previous planet, or when we finally reach a beckoning signal of familiarity and safety, that we get to the heart of Outer Wilds. A small kindle, in the face of a cold, uncaring, beautiful universe, that reminds us that we are never truly alone.

From its open world design and endless permutation in which mysteries can be pieced together, to its incredible restraint, Outer Wilds stands as one of the greatest “video game” experiences I’ve witnessed. Everything from its gameplay, to its sound design, writing and universe, works in harmony to create an unforgettable experience that I can only ever imagine existing as a video game. As long as there continues to be more works like Outer Wilds out there, there will always be hope in video games as a medium.

Moving on from video games, is a type of work that I haven’t really written about on this blog before, Manhwa/webtoons. I only have a brief history with Manhwa, as I grew up reading some of the more popular ones as a kid/teen, such as The Breaker and Tower of God. I’ve tried various Manhwa here and there throughout my life, but none have really stuck out to me as emotionally resonant or even the least bit emotionally mature for that matter. I have my own thoughts on Korean social culture in general (as someone who’s Korean myself), but I do think Koreans’ tendencies to look towards self-gratification and wish-fulfillment extend to their stories, with Manhwa being no exception. I won’t get too deep into it, but I think it likely has to do with conservative social values enforcing a set of expectations upon their children that promotes suppression of individuality and rejection of emotional expression, ultimately resulting in complex trauma. But again, I digress. I bring all this up because I’ve finally found the one exception to my jaded mindset, a shining beacon of humanity and emotion. That is, the webtoon called On the Way to Meet Mom.

Unsurprisingly, a story about self-discovery, found family, and belonging hits right at home with me, and this webtoon is a stellar execution of this. Every panel is a work of awe-inspiring art in and of itself, but it works in service to a fairly short, but beautiful and touching story. It’s filled with moments of genuine connection and warmth, and doesn’t shy away from the harsh truths of the world. It’s unique, it’s sad, but it’s a hope that we can all learn to carry through the world. On the Way to Meet Mom is something truly special.

Lastly, we have a work that I’d briefly talked about on Twitter, but never got around to writing about. It’s a light novel I happened to pick up on a whim that ended up being one of the best purchases I’ve made, The Mimosa Confessions. It’s a story that follows a boy named Sakuma and his former best friend Ushio, a trans woman- with all the confusion, complexities, and difficulties that come with both of their experiences. Although my experience with trans stories is limited, I found this to not be alienating in the slightest to me, given that the story is told from the experience of a cis hetero male in Sakuma. I’m admittedly not the most well versed in those sorts of experiences, and although I fully and truly champion the belief that people should be free to express themselves for who they are, it’s also not a simple situation to navigate given modern political and social landscapes.

Thankfully, The Mimosa Confessions deeply understands this and doesn’t pretend that it’s easy for either Sakuma or Ushio. There’s an incredible amount of empathy that the story shows both of them- from Sakuma’s best efforts to do “the right thing” to Ushio’s desperate attempts to try and be herself in a world that isn’t kind to her.

Starting with Sakuma, he’s an incredibly realistic portrayal of someone who is good at heart, but is naturally uncertain in the face of the complexities that characterize his friend’s transition. He’s careful to not say anything that might come off as offensive or insensitive, and when in tense situations, there’s always a natural desire to take the “easy” way out rather than stand for what he believes in. This is no different from how most kind, inexperienced people would handle things, and the story extends many comforting hands to Sakuma, knowing that he’s not an awful person because of it.

Ushio is similarly treated with incredible empathy, never once relenting in hope that Ushio can one day find the self-love and acceptance that she so deeply desires. We all just want to be ourselves and be accepted for who we are, but in a world that is filled with so much rejection and hate, Ushio naturally faces down the arduous prospect of finding belonging in a world that isn’t built for her. Given my own personal experiences of interpersonal frictions and feelings of shame, isolation, and self-hate, there were many times throughout the first book that I found Ushio to be the most emotionally poignant and relatable for me.

In my own continued struggles, I’ve come to believe that there is a place out there, both for me and someone like Ushio, as well as anybody else out there that longs for connection and belonging. I’m grateful that a story like Mimosa Confessions exists, for those that often feel like they have to play through reality in hard mode. Even so, we can always carry that hope that all of us can one day find that happiness and love within ourselves.

And those are my 2025 highlights! I’ve consumed plenty of other media throughout the year, but don’t have the time to write about all of them. I’m not too sure how often I’ll be writing these posts either, it’ll just be how I’ve always done it. If I feel like writing these, then I will.

On the topic of my current project, Our Ephemeral Nights, I’m still hard at work on it. I went through a serious burnout period earlier this year where I wasn’t satisfied with the quality of what I was editing, which led me to take some time off to rediscover and reflect on my writing. I think I’ve been able to come back with a refreshed mindset this year, and have actually been feeling good about what I’ve been writing. I’m dedicating myself to finishing it in 2025, so please, look forward to it! It’s a labor of love, and hopefully a wonderful chapter of my continued journey of creating stories. See you next time!